Conventional wisdom in medicine says that your doctor should tell you what to do to get yourself back to health or, for some, actually do something to get you back to health. If you believe this conventional wisdom, you must make some assumptions.

• your doctor enjoys the role.
• your doctor is focused on your problem
• your doctor is well rested and thinking clearly
• your doctor has all the information needed to make the decisions.

Those are some pretty good assumptions. But do you really want to make them? Are they valid, good assumptions to make? Let’s take a look at each.

Assumption #1: Your Doctor Enjoys the Role

In his book, The Disillusionment of an American Physician, Sandeep Jauhar writes that doctors feel that they are “technicians on an assembly line,” or “pawn[s] in a moneymaking game for hospital administrators.” According to a 2012 survey, nearly eight out of 10 physicians are “somewhat pessimistic or very pessimistic about the future of the medical profession.” In 1973, 85 percent of physicians said they had no doubts about their career choice. In 2008, only 6 percent “described their morale as positive,” Jauhar reports. Doctors today are more likely to kill themselves than are members of any other professional group. I will explore in a later post why this may be and what we, as a society, may be able to do about it.

Assumption #2: Your Doctor Is Focused on Your Problem

In all likelihood that doctor that you are seeing started out in medical school wanting to be a doctor to make a difference in a patient’s life. To help. The current “health” care system does not allow for us to focus on your life. From Meghan O’Rourke’s article in The Atlantic, “The biggest problem is time: the system ensures that doctors don’t have enough. To rein in costs, insurance companies have set fees lower and lower.” In addition, expenses for the practice increase: expenses such as the cost of supplies and wages and benefits for staff. To make ends meet, the only answer is to see more patients in a day. To do this, appointment times must be shortened. Thus giving us less time to understand you, get to know you. This is what leads to the little time (18 seconds on average) that we give for you to tell us your story.

Assumption #3: Your Doctor Is Rested and Thinking Clearly

We never know what type of day or night our doctor has had when we walk into the office. Based on my experience, you just cannot know. Doctors are either very good at hiding how they are feeling or patients are really bad at picking up the signals. Signals such as, being more than 10-15 minutes late for your appointment (it’s not because she was taking a break), not looking at you while talking (working on the computer), seeming to have a hard time following what you are saying, interrupting you after 18 seconds or less. All of these are signals that you doctor is not doing well on the day of your visit. It is true that some make a habit of this poor social interaction. If it seems this is how your doctor behaves and it’s not just a bad day, it is up to you as to whether to continue to keep this person as your health advisor.

What can you do if you like your doctor and can tell that it is a bad day? Do something to bring your doctor’s mind to you. For example, if you know something personal about your doctor like she has a dog or children, ask about them. Acknowledge that it seems like she is in a hurry or stressed or tired today. Believe me, she will appreciate being seen as human and will more likely see you as human also. Give it a try.

Assumption #4: Your Doctor Has All the Information Needed to Make a Decision

Let’s say that the first three assumptions are good. Your doctor loves what he is doing, he is rested and thinking clearly and is focused on you and your problem. Have you done your part, have you told your story to the best of your ability? You must remember that this is a two-way street. You must play your part and play it well. Come to your appointment prepared. Use your first 18 seconds of your appointment to show that you are prepared. Tell your story in a systematic manner. Answer your doctor’s questions to the best of your ability.

I talk about how to have a successful doctor appointment in the book “Cracking the Code to Success“ a book I’m coauthoring with Brian Tracy, one of the preeminent voices in the self-development world. Once released, you will have the opportunity to download my chapter, “How to Have a Successful Doctor Appointment” here on the 18 Seconds for Health website. I look forward to sharing it with you.

Remember, your health is your responsibility